Why small acts of rudeness aren’t so small: Understanding workplace incivility

What is it? 

Workplace incivility refers to low-intensity, ambiguous behaviours that violate norms of respect.  It rarely announces itself loudly.  Instead, it shows up in small, everyday moments: a dismissive comment in a meeting, an eyeroll when someone speaks, quiet exclusion, or an email copied one person too many.  Most of us have experienced it - and, if we’re honest, most of us have probably been guilty of it at times.  Individually, these incidents are easy to minimise. Collectively, they can be deeply damaging.  

How Workplace Incivility Shows Up in Everyday Interactions 

Unlike bullying or harassment, incivility sits in a grey zone.  The intent is unclear.  The behaviour is often subtle.  And because of that uncertainty, people are left questioning themselves:

• Was that deliberate?

• Am I being too sensitive?

• Is this just how things are here? 

This ambiguity is not accidental - it is central to how incivility operates and why it so often goes unchallenged. 

I can recall my own experience of workplace incivility earlier in my career.  A manager’s body language - impatience, irritation, disengagement - sent a clear message when I spoke or shared ideas.  Over time, I began to doubt my judgement and capability. 

I internalised the behaviour, assumed the issue was me, and responded by avoiding that person wherever possible.  It fundamentally changed how I showed up at work, eroded my confidence, and ultimately contributed to my decision to leave the organisation. This experience is far from unique. 

A global study of over 2,000 employees across more than 25 industries found that 76% of respondents experience incivility at least once a month, and 70% witness it at least two to three times a month. While incivility may be low in intensity, its effects are not.  Research consistently shows that even a single uncivil interaction can reduce cognitive capacity and task performance.  We become distracted, less creative, and less able to focus.  Over time, repeated exposure can lead to stress, emotional exhaustion, and a gradual erosion of self-worth. 

My own research, completed during my master’s studies, reinforced this pattern. Those I spoke to described replaying uncivil encounters repeatedly in their minds - a process of rumination that drained emotional energy and undermined confidence.  Many internalised the experience, engaging in self-blame and self-doubt, particularly where power dynamics were involved.  More recent biobehavioural research helps explain how incivility quite literally “gets under the skin.” Persistent exposure can activate physiological stress responses, meaning that what begins as “just a comment” can, through accumulation, contribute to burnout, disengagement, and withdrawal. 

“Incivility over time can become a cumulative burden and seemingly small insults can sometimes have large effects, ultimately undermining workforce well-being.”

Why Organisational Context Shapes the Impact of Workplace Incivility

Crucially, one of the strongest findings from my work and others is that context matters more than the incident itself.  Over the last two decades, research into workplace incivility has expanded significantly.

A recent review synthesising 24 years of global research shows that incivility is no longer understood as a series of isolated incidents, but as a pattern shaped by leadership behaviour, organisational systems, and everyday norms of interaction.  The same behaviour can have very different outcomes depending on organisational culture, leadership response, and levels of psychological safety. 

In supportive environments, where leaders model respect and intervene early, people are more likely to address issues, repair relationships, and move on.  In unsupportive or toxic cultures, those same behaviours are more likely to lead to silence, resignation, or eventual exit. 

 

How Tolerated Incivility Shapes Workplace Norms and Power Dynamics

 

Understanding workplace incivility requires us to look beyond individual behaviour and examine the systems and cultures that allow it to persist.  When disrespect is tolerated - or subtly rewarded - it sends a clear signal about what is acceptable. 

Over time, incivility spreads, becoming embedded in everyday interactions.  Small acts of rudeness are rarely just about manners; they signal who feels safe, whose voice matters, and whose dignity is protected at work. 

“People who have experienced incivility often never report it as the negative outcome of reporting it outweighed the organisation’s possibility of dealing with the behaviours”

Ultimately, incivility is not about “thin skins” or individual resilience.  It is a cultural signal.  And when left unaddressed, it spreads.  

In part two of this series, I’ll explore how people respond to workplace incivility, the strategies they use to cope with and confront incivility and why so many feel unable to speak up even when the cost is high. 

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If you need help navigating organisational change, employee engagement or bringing together your leadership team, please get in touch at hello@inspiringchange.ie.

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References:

Andersson, L. M., & Pearson, C. M. (1999).Tit for Tat? The Spiraling Effect of Incivility in the Workplace. Academy of Management Review, 24(3), 452–471. https://doi.org/10.5465/AMR.1999.2202131

Cortina, L. M., Sandy Hershcovis, M., & Clancy, K. B. H. (2022).The Embodiment of Insult: A Theory of Biobehavioral Response to Workplace Incivility. Journal of Management, 48(3), 738–763. https://doi.org/10.1177/0149206321989798

Han, S., Harold, C. M., Oh, I.-S., Kim, J. K., & Agolli, A. (2022).A meta-analysis integrating 20 years of workplace incivility research: Antecedents, consequences, and boundary conditions. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 43(3), 497–523. https://doi.org/10.1002/job.2568

Porath, C. (2022).Frontline work when everyone is angry. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2022/11/frontline-work-when-everyone-is-angry

Porath, C., & Pearson, C. (2013).The Price of Incivility. Harvard Business Review, 91(1/2), 114–121. https://hbr.org/2013/01/the-price-of-incivility

Yao, J., Lim, S., Guo, C. Y., Ou, A. Y., & Ng, J. W. X. (2022).Experienced incivility in the workplace: A meta-analytical review of its construct validity and nomological network. Journal of Applied Psychology, 107(2), 193–220. https://doi.org/10.1037/apl0000870

Yaqoob, S., Shahzad, K., Faisal, M., Kitchlew, N., & Abualigah, A. (2025).Why, how, and when incivility unfolds in the workplace: A 24-year systematic literature review. Management Review Quarterly. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11301-025-00525-5